New Years Eve One Liners
posted 31-Dec-2013  ·  
1,464 views  ·   0 comments  ·  
A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.

New Years Eve is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper.

I'm getting drunk just thinking about tomorrow night.

My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.

I have only one resolution. To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have. Happy New Year!

If 2013 was a person, I’d sue him for pain and suffering and lost wages.

This New Year’s I resolve to be less awesome since that is really the only thing I do in excess.

People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions.

Many things can be preserved in alcohol this New Years Eve. DIGNITY is not one of them.

Just heard that in 2014 there will be a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it’s called alcohol.

My New Years Resolution is to break my New Years Resolutions....That way I succeed at something!

Anyone who says that alcohol is a depressant isn’t drinking enough of it.

I'm actually feeling pretty okay about not accomplishing anything this year.

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