Ambiguous newspaper headlines which are accidentally funny
posted 1-Jun-2013  ·  
11,740 views  ·   0 comments  ·  

Police Alert on Stolen Drugs - Newcastle Chronicle (Naughty police, stealing people’s drugs like that)

Rare Flower Found On A Site A Plant, Say Developers – Guardian (Duh, obviously)

Lloyds Sell Goldfish to Morgan Stanley For £1bn - Independent (I won mine at the fair, but their’s is a credit card company)

MP’s To Take A Close Look At Pornography – Edinburgh Evening (Dirty Politicians)

Lord To Decide Future Next Month - Calgary Sun (Not that Lord, silly)

Report Shows Need For Paper Cuts – North Wales Weekly News (The best business report on cutting costs…ever)

Girl Hit By Car In Hospital – Edinburgh Evening News (They really should ban cars from hospitals)

Green Light Given To Nuke Waste Dump – N.W. Evening Mail (To Nuke or To Dump Nuclear Waste, that is the question)

Police Grill Murder Suspect – Queensland Times (Now that’s a serious interrogation)

Robber Jailed For Shooting Dead Witness – Daily Telegraph (I know some people see dead people, Dead people can see people?).

Strikes To Paralyse Travellers – Daily Mirror (Those unions really shouldn’t be hitting people)

Footballer On The Mend After Fatal Car Crash – Hendon and Finchley Times ( It’s a miracle)

Crash Test Dummy Arms Sold For $50 Million – Guardian (how much did the head go for?)

Mayor Attacks Police Watchdog – Edinburgh Evening News (I wish there was a youtube video for that)

Glass Center Visitors Go Through The Roof – Sunderland Echo(I’m glad the glass blowing demonstrations have been so successful, but that sounds painful!)

French Youths Speak Their Own Language – USA Today

Man In Court Over St Paul’s Death – Independent (Now that is what I call a cold case, I mean, have you ever been in one of those breezy cathedrals)

Teenager Held Over Shredder – Edinburgh Evening News (that’s a cruel and unusual punishment)
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted (Most of them probably should be, but don’t forget to strap them down first)

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case (I’ve heard of small cells, but…)

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms (I didn’t even know there were women mushrooms)

Eye Drops off Shelf (Brilliant headline for a product recall)

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim (I don’t think the dog needed any help)

Miners Refuse to Work after Death (Even the zombies go on strike!)

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant (No that is just childish)

Stolen Painting Found by Tree (Was the reward a bag of fertilizer?)

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies (And the other is alive? That’s the real news!)

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter (That is a very long shift, or a very clumsy sentence)

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years (Another Zombie Headline?)

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge (I wouldn’t want to be the first to cross that new bridge)

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group


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